Tire Kickers- A Happy Little Rant

Customer Service, Rants, Tire Kickers -

Tire Kickers- A Happy Little Rant

If you've ever worked in retail, then you know what I mean when I say "Tire Kicker". For those of you who don't, it's when somebody contacts you about a product and asks 102,443,224,532, questions about it, which they can mostly find in the description. At the end of the x amount of hours it takes going back and forth pulling out your hair trying to remain civil, you have the hopes they will simply buy whatever it is they are asking about, and you can both move on.

This simply isn't the case though. At the end, there are several excuses Tire Kickers will use. Here's a list of a few of them:
1. My wife said I can't buy this.

2.I just got bombarded with bills, sorry, can't afford the $20 item I wasted 5 hours asking about.

3.My wife's sister's uncle's brother in law's cousin's niece's friend just died horribly in a car accident, so I can't buy this unfortunately.

4.Oh, well, I don't have the cash, was just curious.

5.Okay, I think I'll just get it from __________ Instead since theirs is 1.00 cheaper. 

6.Medical bills man, all of a sudden my spleen and liver ruptured so I can't po0p straight. 

7.Okay, I'll check back with you in 9 months when I have the $20.

8.Let me consult the ol' ball and chain and I'll get back to you.

9.Well I needed this about two weeks ago, so it won't do me any good now.

10.Straight-up, my dog died so I can't follow through with the $20 worth of stuff. 

So there you have it folks. If you're going to try an excuse, please try to come up with something believable and original. These just aren't going to fly. This right here is why I might come across as being "short" or "snappy" after the first 50 questions about a certain item. It's nothing against most of you, as I'm sure you wouldn't want to be a tire-kicker, but it's just a habit developed out of several thousand of these encounters, 99% of which, are a waste of my time, when I could be out looking for more awesome surplus crap to sell to all my awesome customers who aren't tire-kickers. 

So please, if you're a new customer, don't be scared away by people posting on Facebook, "That Mike Burch guy's a dick, he called me a douche after I wasted several hours of his time asking stupid questions, when I actually had no intention of following through with the purchase anyways."

My patience is gone for this type of thing. Maybe if I hired a pot-smoking, high on life customer service rep, these people would be happier with me, but since I can't afford an extra 40,000 a year to hire an employee, you're all stuck with me for the time being >)

That's all, carry on.